Monday, July 30, 2012

Trilogy Launch

I’d really love to launch an amazing trilogy. The ground is kinda littered, though. When I try to think of ideas, that stupid Barenaked Ladies song goes through my head “It’s all been done…--wooh-hoo-hoo!” And then I’m idea-less AND I have a Barenaked Ladies song stuck in my head.

First I know I need a really unusual name for my heroine. The last time I was book shopping I saw some great ones—I especially remember there were two Americas. So I think I’m going to go for the name Canada. Either that or Voltage.

So now I need a seriously dire situation for Canada/Voltage to be in. I know for a fact that Barnes and Noble has a whole section of Teen Paranormal Romance. I want Barnes and Noble to sell my Trilogy (maybe I should do the Stephenie Meyer thing and do a Quadology. A tetralogy?) Anyway, so Canada could be in love with a supernatural creature.

Vampires—beyond overdone
Witch—I keep thinking of Hermione. Or Charmed
Mutant with powers that are, well…mutant—Maybe…
Succubus—Just, ew.
Demon—Also an ick factor.

Okay, so Canada falls in love with a mutant. What can he do?

Fire breather
Mind reader
Can melt and reform
Dragon slayer

I guess that last one’s not really a mutant power, but if that nine-year old kid can write a dragon story (trilogy!) how hard can it be? Okay, so Canada falls in love with Seven (I’ve read a lot of books recently with boys named after numbers, and Seven is a very significant number).
Canada and Seven will face many obstacles. Now I need to make a list of obstacles.

Making a list of obstacles is hard. Since this idea is already super craptastic, I think I will go ahead and combine my story (working title: Canadian Fire!) with a couple of really terrible television shows.

The worst show I’ve ever seen is Toddlers and Tiaras, but I’m not sure how to combine that with dragons and stuff (and I’m pretty sure reproduction and/or child explotation is a no-no in YA). How about The Bachelor? That’s a pretty terrible show.

Except there’s already a parody of The Bachelor called Burning Love online, so now I need to change my title. Maybe I should go back to my second choice girl’s name ‘cause it’d make a cool title.  So here’s the pitch:

Seventeen year-old Voltage Cassidy has always been on the outside looking in. When her parents died in a freak sunbathing accident, Vo was orphaned, and sent to live with her tyrannical Aunt Maru. Vo’s been counting the days until she can graduate and go off to work in the magical hinterlands. What Vo never counted on was being picked to go to the Palace of Argon. Each year, ten young girls compete for the hand of the hottest young dragon hunter in the land. This year, it’s sexy yet dangerous Seven Monroe. Vo has no interest in the haughty young slayer. But when the two meet, unexpected sparks fly. Can Vo resist Seven? Together, can Vo and Sev protect Canada from a mutant dragon army? Cram-packed with familiar story elements and a surprising lack of grammatical mistakes: Voltage!


  1. I can pretty much guarantee that I would read a book about a mutant dragon army, so this is kind of winning for me...haha :0)

  2. I would probably go for the whole tortured hero thing, Bachelor/Dragon Slayer or no! ;)

  3. Who was the 9 year-old who wrote a dragon trilogy? I miss something? Also, hilarious post. It'd sell depressingly well, I know this.

  4. I was being (a little) hyperbolic about the author of Eragon (he was nineteen, but at my age, both numbers sound crazy young ;)

  5. I would say it was as much his parents, his thesaurus, and a few other books borrowed liberally from that wrote it as well as him, but hey, I'm being a little hyperbolic too. XD