Bats in Your Book Pages: Haunted Week Day 2

Today’s topic: Top five things that drive you crazy in books

5. No ending because they’re saving it for book 2.

I believe I’ve ranted about this before.

4. try and

J.K. can have this one, ‘cause she’s British and all. But and is not a verb on this continent.

3. Weird names

I get that the literary landscape is very crowded, and that no one can use the name Isabella ever again. But some of these names just make me want to call the author, yell, “Really?” and hang up.

Araby-A story by James Joyce? Strange bastardization of Arabella?

Katniss-I know, I know, it’s a plant. So are Cactus and Carrot, but I don’t exactly fancy them as names.

America-I’ve already made fun of this one.

Rhine-I just don’t get it.

Renesmee-This one is pretty self explanatory.

2. When teens say stuff that teenagers would NEVER SAY

Example: I adored Jay Asher’s Thirteen Reasons Why (in spite of the entire box of Kleenex he cost me.) But there’s this part where the three supposed teenagers have a code that they say to each other, and it’s Olly olly oxen free. That’s right, a phrase that hasn’t been heard on a schoolyard since 1953. And when it was, the schoolyard was in England. And the kids saying it were playing tag and they were nine. So unless one of these kids was some kind of closet lexicographer, I’m just not buying it.

These kids might actually say Olly olly oxen whatever...

1. Ramp up the tension, but don’t pull the trigger.

Again, I’ve ranted before. Here’s the thing. Sometimes somebody’s gotta die. J.K. Rowling didn’t shy away from this necessity. And yes, 768 pages of “The Volturi are coming!” followed by “And they all lived happily ever after” falls into this category.

What drives you crazy?